Energies4Life Newsletter - June 2009

What could be riskier than parachuting out of an aeroplane, climbing a glacier-covered peak or diving in dark and dangerous waters?

Well, that all depends: For one person it might be quitting a secure, well paying job to go back to college or university. For another it could be deciding to leave a 20 year marriage that is no longer fulfilling or authentic. Or it could be for someone else, taking the risk of reporting that the company they work for is endangering the environment or other people’s lives.

Although it may not appear at first glance, psychological risks that summon us to put our personal values and beliefs on the line may ultimately feel far more dangerous than those of physical derring-do. Yet these are the challenges that we are asked to face time and time again if we are to continue to grow as individuals. Each time we take a risk that contributes to our personal growth or enhances our self-esteem or enriches our lives, we make the choice to stretch ourselves, knowing that there are no guarantees and chancing possible failure.

The willingness to take risks, large and small, and the skill to make intelligent decisions between risk and irresponsibility will, to a large degree, determine the level of achievement that we will attain. The biggest risk is not the possibility of failing, it is in not giving it a go in the first place. Playing it safe is not the way you will make your dreams come true.

The comfort zone is seductive. We all desire comfort; it’s human nature. However, too much comfort does not serve us well. An inability to step out of our comfort zone will profoundly limit our performance on every level of life.

Within each one of us lies great potential. The way we explore that potential is to take risks. Taking a risk will tell us what works and what doesn’t. If you fail the first time, then you will know how to do things differently the next time around. In fact, failure is staying down after you fall down. If you get up, learn from the experience and try again you will ultimately succeed. Thomas Edison tried 2000 times before successfully creating the electric light bulb.

Failure is actually a key to learning. It is the fastest route to success because you learn far more from your failures than you do from your successes. As young children we knew this intuitively as we learnt to walk; we struggled, stumbled, fell over and yet, never daunted by these “failures”, we picked ourselves up and tried again. We instinctively propelled ourselves forward towards change and growth as we learnt a myriad of new skills; feeding and dressing ourselves, learning to swim, to ride a bicycle and of course learning to read and write. As children we never even contemplated “failure” because we had not yet learnt about fear. Fear is the only thing that holds us back. It keeps us stuck in our comfort zone and loathe to try anything new or move forward in our lives.

Being trapped by fear and refusing to take risks may lead to a safe, boring mediocre life; but you will never thrive, learn, love or grow if you stay in that trap. We need to test and stretch our abilities. It doesn’t matter whether your goal is starting up a new business, buying or building a new home, moving to a different city, a new position at work or getting into the course of study that you’ve chosen. Whatever it may be, you must step out and boldly pursue it. Feel the fear and do it anyway!

You will seldom lose anything of value by pursuing your dream, although sometimes sacrifices are demanded of us as we move forward towards more authenticity and fulfilment. The question we need to ask is “do I really need to desperately cling on to the comforts and security of the past as I move towards a more authentic future?”  Often feeling reluctant to let these things go and move on is what really holds us back. It’s as if we simply can’t imagine living a life without that large salary/ big house/sports car/affluent lifestyle/social life and so on. Taking risks however can sometimes necessitate making important choices regarding our comfort zones and the best way to think of these potential life changes is as “invitations” or “opportunities”. Re-framing them in this context can help us see more clearly what is most important for us at any given time along our journey.

As life is a journey, being aware of unexpected changes and deviations to the path is an essential element when taking risks and moving towards new goals. Being able to adapt to new or unforeseen situations without fear or panic, to keep a healthy spontaneity and open mind when our best laid plans start to twist and turn unexpectedly, these are all qualities that will keep us focused on moving forwards and going for our goals. Tread lightly and don’t try to control the universe! If you are genuinely heading in the right direction you will discover that the universe will give you all the support that you need.
Keep reminding yourself that you have tremendous reservoirs of potential within you, and therefore, you are quite capable of doing almost anything that you set your mind to. Here are some action steps to help you in your journey towards fulfilling your personal potential.

Five Action Steps to Move Towards Your Goal

1) Identify what you want but be flexible

Many discoveries have been made in the pursuit of something else and quite by accident. Allow yourself the flexibility to adjust your goal or even completely change it along the way.

2) Don’t try to control the outcome

Take the necessary steps towards realising your goal, but don’t be too pre-occupied with the projected outcome. When you try too hard to control the outcome, you are assuming that you know something before you have given yourself the chance to experience and learn. This is the best way to guarantee that you will get stuck and fail. It’s all a learning experience and you need to be flexible and go with this. Don’t get too attached to the outcome; in fact, the ultimate outcome may surprise you!

3) Focus on the process

This goes along with the previous suggestion of not trying too hard to control the outcome. Instead, pay attention to the process. Give yourself the flexibility to choose what to do at any given moment in time.

4) Go slow

Going too fast too soon will create problems. You might learn limitations that way. Give yourself a chance to learn and grow along the way. Enjoy the journey. If you rush through the journey, you might very well miss it. The journey is the point. Slow down and experience it.

5) Be curious and live free

Be like a child. Be curious and allow your imagination to roam free. As a young child not only did you approach new things with enthusiasm and without fear, but also you probably didn’t always know where things were leading you. You simply moved with and experienced life. You were intensely curious and you let your amazing life unfold in an explosion of exploration and learning. Grab back those feelings of intense curiosity and spontaneity that you had as a young child and let this guide you along the way. Young children aren’t stuck in their comforts zones and we can learn from their instinctive courage and enthusiasm.

Living an authentic life means never having to regret anything. This is powerful!