Energies4Life Newsletter - April 2009

“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.”          - Harry Truman

There are times in life when it can be easy to be discouraged; problems at work, financial worries, personal problems. Surely it’s not possible to be happy and optimistic all the time? Well, these are challenging times and there are certainly decisions and actions that sometimes demand rational and realistic responses, that some might describe as pessimistic, (more on this later). Generally speaking however, it is far more valuable to be an optimist who occasionally engages in pessimistic thinking than a pessimist who occasionally engages in optimistic thinking.

Studies have shown that optimists not only enjoy better health, but actually live longer. A Harvard study that followed the lives of 99 students from the age of 25 found that those who were initially classified as optimists at that young age were significantly healthier at the ages of 45 and 60 than the other participants. Similar studies have shown that pessimism is a good predictor of not only infectious disease, but also of early mortality. In other words, being a pessimist literally means that you are quite likely to die sooner, which is quite a sobering thought. Research conducted on cancer patients has shown that those who are optimists have generally healthier outcomes than those who are pessimists.

In terms of emotional health, optimists experience less stress than pessimists and are less likely to fall into a severe depression, even when faced with a catastrophic event, such as the death of a loved one or failure of a marriage. Training clinically depressed patients to think optimistically has been shown to relieve depression more effectively than the application of antidepressant drugs. (Less side effects for starters).

Regarding success in both professional and personal endeavours, optimists have repeatedly shown to be the winners. Optimists perform better, bounce back from setbacks faster and are more persistent. This persistence leads them to keep trying long after the pessimists have given up, which is one of the reasons for their greater success.

Psychologist, clinical researcher and best selling author Martin Seligman has spent 25 years studying optimism and pessimism. In his book, Learned Optimism, he confirms that pessimistic thinking can undermine not just our behaviour, but also our health and our success. “Pessimism is escapable” he writes. “Pessimists can learn to be optimists.”
By altering our view of our lives, we can actually alter our lives, he says. First though we must recognise our “explanatory style”, which is what we say to ourselves when we experience a setback. By breaking the “I give up” pattern of thinking and changing our internal negative dialogue, we can encourage what he calls “flexible optimism.” He believes that focusing on our innate character strengths (wisdom, courage, compassion), rather than our perceived failures boosts not just our moods, but our immune system. As research has shown that optimistic people tend to be healthier and more successful in their lives, he encourages parents to develop these patterns of optimism in their children.

When you think about it, very young children are natural optimists. They are consistently full of hope and enjoy solving problems, trying again and again to answer the unanswerable! They have a high sense of self worth and self esteem, in spite of negative ordeals or frustrations. From about the age of 7 or 8 however, children can start to be negatively influenced by repeated experiences, which can cause the learned helplessness of pessimism to appear in later life. For example children ingest the type of causes invoked in everyday situations, and the person they most frequently hear is their mother. If their mother is pessimistic, probably they will be too in later life. Children also learn to think pessimistically of themselves if they hear the same generalised criticisms whenever they fail or stumble, usually from parents or teachers. Finally, children learn deep helplessness if serious traumas and losses they encounter as children continue and repeatedly affect their lives as they grow into adolescence and young adulthood.

For most of us, when things go wrong we tend to blame outside forces; God, the economic crisis, colleagues, spouse etc, rather than take responsibility for any of it ourselves. This breeds passivity and a sense of being a victim. It is all too easy to give up, blame the outside world, and adopt either a martyred helplessness or a frustrated bitterness. Taking responsibility and acknowledging our choices and options in each situation automatically gives us back our power. As Dr Seligman observes “You are not a passive responder to stimuli. You are an initiator of plans. Some of your troubles were brought on by yourself, so take responsibility for them! The good news in that is it also implies that the way out is not something that someone is going to bestow on you; it’s something you are going to do yourself.”

Dr Seligman balances the scale somewhat by recognising that there are situations in life when more “pessimistic” thinking will serve us better. “When the cost of failure is large and catastrophic, you don’t want to use optimism skills” he writes. Think about, for example, a neurosurgeon who must carefully consider all the things that could possibly go wrong during surgery. Similarly the airline pilot who needs to be aware of the catastrophic implications of having just one more drink on the night before a flight. For some of us it’s the potential consequences of an “innocent” flirtation, which could then possibly lead to an affair and maybe risk a broken marriage and shattered family later on. There are simply times when optimistic thinking can be unrealistic, irresponsible and possibly downright dangerous. (Reckless traders and bankers also spring to mind)!

That said, a glass half full is demonstrably preferable in most situations; so how do we learn to change our focus and think more optimistically? Well, the Lightning Process is a hugely effective training program that allows people to abandon old learned helplessness and re-access good and healthy positive states once again. (There is more information on the Lightning Process at the end of this article). We can also learn to change our internal dialogue and vision of ourselves by following these simple strategies below:

 - When something positive happens in your life, don’t just accept it without thinking. Stop to analyse your thought processes for a moment. Are you giving yourself due credit for making this happen? Think of all the strengths you possess and the ways in which you have contributed, both directly and indirectly, in making this positive event occur.

 - Think of other areas in your life that could be affected by this positive event. Focus on your strengths once more and think of how these strengths may also contribute to other new positive areas in your life.

 - Imagine what future possibilities may be in store. Reflect on all the different options and choices that are available to you. Know that you are entirely responsible for your decisions and how you respond to each situation.

 - When negative events occur, ask yourself “How could I have done this or responded to this differently? What can I learn from this situation? What opportunities or invitations can I discover by looking at this situation from every angle?”

 - Analyse your self talk: Abandon any doom and gloom or “I can’t do anything about that” type of inner dialogue. Develop a kind, energetic and upbeat dialogue with yourself and introduce humour whenever you can! Be your own best friend.

By following these simple techniques you will be able to abandon “learned helplessness” and acquire a new and positive outlook, where every situation offers a potential learning opportunity.