Energies4Life Newsletter - March 2009

What better time than the spring to think about clearing the clutter in our lives? We all have it and it can seriously hold us back, creating unnecessary stress, anxiety and indecision. There are two types of clutter; mental and physical. Let’s look at the physical clutter first.

The contents of our bags, our cars, our offices and our homes are all a reflection of who we are and how we feel about ourselves. With the passing of time however, we can start to accumulate objects and keepsakes and, without our realising, we start to become weighed down with physical things that are no longer relevant to who we are now and how we have evolved on our journey. Clutter can be expensive. It’s not just expensive to store and maintain things that you don’t need or use, but it takes a psychological toll. Every time you walk by a pile of clutter, it can impact on the way you feel.

A common mistake that people make in de-cluttering their homes is thinking that they immediately have to go out and buy an organisation system, such as filing cabinets, or fancy plastic storage bins before evaluating their real needs. Instead it’s far better to evaluate whether the things in your living and work spaces are appropriate for who you are today.

I’m not by any means saying that we need to get rid of everything we own and only keep what is useful. But clearing out clutter – selling things, giving away to friends or to charity or freecycling them (www.freecycle.org) and generally putting some order and structure into our living and working environments is a wonderful way to reduce stress. It also helps us to let things go, mentally, to move on. So why do we find it so difficult to organise our environments in this way? Well, there are a number of reasons:

Comfort and security “Well, one of these days I might need it” If you haven’t taken something out of a box since you moved house, or out of the cupboard since you originally put it there, do you really need it? Some people fill their spaces with all sorts of things that they are afraid to get rid of because they feel more secure in having them. Old notebooks, drawers full of pens, manuals from electrical goods that they don’t even have anymore, spare buttons, old maps; the list can be never ending. Surrounding yourself with things for the sake of it is like building a wall around you for protection.

Identity “But I’ve had those for years. They’re like who I am”
Some people collect objects; blue china, anything with elephants on, teddy bears, books, stamps, postcards……..collecting can be a wonderful hobby at a certain stage in our lives. For some people, however, it can become a way of giving themselves an identity that they otherwise do not relate to. If you no longer get any pleasure from that collection, or no longer actively participate in the hobby, it can become a burden. When the collection becomes something which just gathers dust, or takes up room in the spare bedroom, it is time to think about getting rid of it and making room for something new. When you recognise that you are no longer the same person who did the collecting, it is time to move on. Have a good clear out and let someone else who does enjoy these objects get pleasure from them.

Sentiment “I couldn’t possibly get rid of that; my Grandmother gave it to me”. If you have something in your home, or your life, and you keep it simply because you loved the person who gave it to you, but you don’t like the object itself, then get rid of it. It does not mean that you have stopped loving that person. Similarly, if you have boxes and boxes of old photos and letters from loved ones and past generations of your family that you never look at, now is the time to sort them out. Archive anything important, frame the best of the photos or make some special photo boards, but also consider whether it is necessary to hang on to absolutely everything indefinitely, just because it represents a part of your past or your family history. Hanging on to the past can stop us from living in the present and moving towards our own unique personal future.

Feel good factor “I can’t get rid of that pair of trousers, I might fit into them again/they were very expensive”
Yes, you might fit into them again, but they will more than likely be out of fashion by then. When people hold onto clothes, they are usually trying to hold the feeling that wearing those clothes gave to them. The toughest part of the house to clear out is often the wardrobe, because clothing can be associated with memories. If it is simply too difficult to throw away certain items of clothing, consider separating these items into a separate keepsake box, which will leave you free to de-clutter the other clothes sensibly and freely. Remember, your wardrobe should not be a museum!

Your physical de-clutter program for this spring!

Every week clear out one small thing. It may be your handbag or your bedside drawer. It may be sorting out the shoes in your wardrobe, or one shelf in your office. Just do one thing, no more than that, each week throughout the spring. You will start to get into the habit of clearing out and, as you do so, you will find things that you didn’t know you had and either be able to use them properly or discard them. Ask yourself are these objects reflecting the real “me” of today? Or are they reflecting an old outdated “me”, who no longer exists? Are these items purely for show, or are they authentic things that I still appreciate and enjoy? Do I need to keep absolutely everything from the past to prove that I was loved/happy? As you clear the space around you, you are also clearing space in your mind. You don’t need to become obsessively neat and tidy to achieve this; as you clear, your mind will start to feel calmer and more ordered, which brings me on to the subject of mental clutter.
One of the side effects of modern living is the constant presence of an inner chatter in our minds; a sort of negative voice over nagging us with the contents of our unfinished to do lists, our daily fears and insecurities or just simply berating us and telling us that we’re not good enough. This mental clutter can not only prevent us from moving forwards in our lives, it can actually manifest itself in the form of physical ailments. At the very least, it is a source of constant stress and aggravation. Meditation and activities such as yoga and tai chi can still the mental chatter for a while and training programs, such as the life changing “Lightning Process” seminars can also help us to deal with the accumulated mental clutter that can be at the root of so much chronic stress in our lives. There is more information on the Lightning Process training at the end of this article.

Unfinished Business A major source of mental clutter is the nagging existence of unfinished business. We tend to avoid situations that we find uncomfortable or difficult and often we will go to great lengths and overburden ourselves with other responsibilities just to avoid an unpleasant task. All this does is to make us feel even more tired and more stressed than before, and the original task is still left waiting for us! As the anticipation of it builds up in our minds, the once perhaps innocuous task becomes a monster, costing us hours in wasted time and filling us with feelings of guilt and anxiety.

Solution: If you can’t delegate the task in question, don’t procrastinate any further, just dig in and get the job done. What once may have seemed like a monster in your own mind, will take on more reasonable dimensions as you deal with it, the mental chatter will calm down and you will feel the stress and negative emotions begin to melt away.

Indecision Much like avoidance, indecision only delays the inevitable. There may be many reasons why you hesitate to take action when an important decision needs to be made. In most cases indecision is caused by the fear of making the wrong decision. By doing nothing though, you will only continue to fret about your situation, and that negative voice over berating you will only continue to build, bringing more feelings of stress and anxiety.

Solution: Forge ahead! Trust your instincts and make a decision. Learn to listen to your inner voice, your intuition. Ask yourself “what’s the worst that could happen here?” Even if you make the wrong choice, you will at least have cleared your mind of that particular worry. Remember, “There is no failure, only feedback”. Errors are one of the prime learning opportunities that life throws our way, so you still have the chance to take something good away from the experience, even if you do not make the best choice.

Overwhelmed Sometimes when we have too much to do, we are frozen in confusion, uncertain of where to begin. Large projects or an overloaded calendar can leave us feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Many of us cannot even decide where to begin when standing in the face of an excessive amount of work.

Solution: Rather than look at the whole picture, allowing it to frighten us, break the job down into its component parts. Ask yourself “What is the very first step that I need to take here?” Tackle each task individually, each one bringing you closer to the accomplishment of your main goal. When you look at one piece of the puzzle at a time, it helps ease your fears and sense of frustration. Thus we can see how important it is to let go of both the physical and mental clutter that can hold us back in our lives. Energies4life offers many other techniques and strategies that can help us to clear out the mental clutter, quiet the mind and help us to achieve focus in our lives. Having focus will lead you directly to better time management, which translates into greater efficiency and accomplishment. When your life begins running more smoothly, you will experience greater peace and satisfaction, enhanced happiness and greater success in all areas of your life.